Category Archives: TV

MasterChef Australia In Review (Now That The Cake Is Almost Baked)

During the early elimination rounds of MasterChef Australia, I suggested in my post entitled ‘MasterChef Australia’ – Egos in Aprons, Seeking Celebrity that this was just another ‘reality TV’ show, and therefore all about entertainment and ratings, rather than determining which of the contestants was the best cook. A fake, in other words. I predicted that the final 20 would be selected not solely on cooking prowess, but on other criteria to do with maximising the appeal of the show. My punt, ignoring the cooking ability factor altogether, was that the finalists would fit into the following categories: Continue reading MasterChef Australia In Review (Now That The Cake Is Almost Baked)

Rugby League A Poofters’ Code?

As expected, ABC’s Four Corners piece on the gang bang culture of NRL lit the mainstream blogs up with comments from a ranting public. Predictably, they’ve ranged from boofhead defences of Matthew Johns and his mates to indignant condemnations of all males as rapists and calls for mass-castration. (Why do I keep reading this shit? Out of some perverse anthropological investigative urge, or an enduring trash aesthetic, or…nah, it’s something baser, but let’s not waste time on damaging self-reflection here.)

The unfortunate New Zealand “bun’s” description of what went on that night set me pondering. She painted a picture of debauchery that could have inspired Fellini to surpass the decadent reaches of Satyricon: NRL buddies queued up for their turn at her, while others sat around the room naked, watching on and masturbating. A retired ex-coach explained this sordid scene away as a form of “team bonding”.

Amongst all the online banter I have not seen a single post expressing my reaction, though I can’t imagine I am alone in formulating the following question. Slap me down with a sweat-soaked jockstrap if I’m astray here, but for all the blokey posturing, isn’t the notion of a group of buff young male athletes sitting around bicep to bicep, disrobed and wanking over their peers stirring each others porridge, a trifle…erm…gay?

Nic Ciampa – MasterSook Australia

Melbourne’s Pasquale “Nic” Ciampa may have ruled himself out as a contender for MasterChef Australia (see his post-wimpout interview here), but he sure as hell qualifies for a less prestigious award – MasterSook Australia.

This pathetic twat quit the show in a blubbering mess, insisting that he and wifey were “one and the same unit” – or some such shit – and just couldn’t bear to be parted any longer. 2 weeks with the other contestants in a lux Sydney apartment overlooking the harbour was too long for mummy’s boy Nic, and too long for wifey, it seems. Sobbed Nic as he announced his departure from the series: “It just shows how much we love each other.”

Bullshit, mate – it shows nothing of the sort. It shows that you and your wife have major dependency issues. This ain’t love that’s calling you home – it’s need. Continue reading Nic Ciampa – MasterSook Australia