A departure from my essay-style posts. Blame it on Friday.

Avril Lavigne claims her “Ten Commandments” have put her just where she is today. (If you feel inclined to pore over Av’s wisdom in her very own words, Perez Hilton has them up on his site, accompanied by the sort of poncey putdown remarks you’d expect from him).

So, Av’s rules for livin’ include:

• Expressing gratitude. She develops this notion by urging the poor to be grateful for clean drinking water, “developing world” excepted.

• Going after “good karma”. Av proclaims herself “a very giving person”, citing by way of demonstration her extreme magnanimity in instructing her “assistant” to pack off 6 boxes of “stuff” from her closet to help out the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

• Role-modelling for all those adoring fans her responsible partygirl strategies: “Party hard, but not too hard…Am I advocating drugs? No! Drink in moderation.” (Tres punk of her).

• “Extending herself” to – guess what? – a movie career! She “knows” she could be “real good at it.”

How can someone so fucking dumb end up so fucking rich at 22?

Try to have a good weekend.