Wishy Washy Woosha!

OK, this is a somewhat gratuitous post. I admit it – it’s all about the title. Couldn’t resist.

I should preface the following by declaring that John Worsfold contributed the most unforgettable and thrilling moment of poetic justice in the history of Subiaco Oval footy when he shirtfronted Hawthorn bullyboy, weight-thrower and general wanker Dermot Brereton on August 18th, 1991. The ecstatic crowd response was something I was part of, for which I thank Woosha, God and the fates for all eternity.

For those who would like to relive that magic moment, here it is:

Of course, Woosha was an intrinsic part of the coming of age of the Eagles, and of the legendary team that took off the club’s inaugural flag in 1992, and repeated the feat in 94. And he coached a succeeding generation to their third Premiership win in 2006. Bouquets, brickbats and bent-low bowings. Thank you, Woosha.

But what happens to this esteemed hard man of WA footy when he gets in front of the camera? It’s like Superman changing into Clark Kent! With the possible exception of Kylie Minogue, John Worsfold would have to be the blandest interviewee of all time. Kyles is urgently in need of a personality transplant, but Woosha’s interview impotence is all about attitude – he refuses to take a stand on anything but not taking a stand on anything! That’s wishy washy, Woosha!

Aunt Anna from Estonia could see that the Eagles ran outta legs against the Lions on Friday night, but Woosha, of course, denied that in a post-match interview. He’s always denying everything in interviews!

On the eve of the Carlton vs Richmond clash last Thursday night, billed amidst much hype as the Cuz vs Judd “showdown”, Woosha was asked – rhetorically one would have thought – whether he would be watching. His response: “If it’s not too late for me, if it’s on before 9.30 I’ll watch it.” WTF? You watched every second, Woosh. Own up! Be a little human ferchissake!?

Not giving team strategies away to the media is one thing, but what’s the point of contrariness and extreme understatement of the type that Worsfold has adopted from day one of his coaching career? For me, and I know I’m not alone in this, Woosha’s refusal to meaningfully engage at all with the media detracts from his credibility. And that can’t be a good thing.

Worsfold’s extreme defensiveness in media interviews is a cover-up for fear! What of? Of publicly revealing his vulnerabilities! Of course, Woosha would deny that, as he denies anything remotely discomforting, critical, or confronting that’s put to him, but as we’ve seen time and again, that don’t mean it ain’t there! Constant naysaying is wuzzy, Woosha! And BORING!

Imagine being seated next to the bloke at a dinner party.

Bit worrying, this global economic crisis, innit John?
Woosha: Not really, Rolan. These things happen.
Err, Woosh, what do you think about the Afghanistan situation?
Woosha: It’s not impacting on my thoughts. I’m focused on other things.
Like the Eagles, no doubt?
Woosha: They’re your words, not mine.
Look, I know you don’t want to talk shop. I’m just saying football must be your main focus.
Woosha: No, not really. And I wouldn’t say I have anything against talking shop.
OK. How do you think the boys are going to go this year, then?
Woosha: I don’t think about that. One game at a time.


Glug glug. Long evening ahead.

Um John, pass the bottle, wouldja please – the full one. And a straw.

One thought on “Wishy Washy Woosha!”

  1. Oh man, thank you and prepare for sycophancy. This is one of those moments when you read something that says exactly what you’ve been thinking. Perfect.

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