On 60 Minutes last night, we had some dippy professor, Louise Newman, asserting in relation to the Henson photographs that it is irrelevant whether the artist was intentionally eroticising his images or not, but that “if one paedophile views those images as sexually arousing and that encourages them in their behaviour, then we have a serious problem.”

This twit is head of Child Psychiatry at Newcastle University. Which doesn’t say much for the standards of academe in Newcastle, or, perhaps, for the affirmative action policy that – surely! – put the good prof in her seat.

Extending Newman’s stupid argument, we should be banning all art depicting naked cherubs – and even naked cherubs themselves. Ban babies, ban pre-pubescent kids, ban adolescents under 16. Voila – we’ve denied all pedos their visuals! There’s no doubting the woman’s logic. Reality is her problem.

On the other hand, we had Catharine Lumby, Professor of Media Studies at the University of NSW (are there any blokes left in positions of power at Australian unis, or have none survived these enlightened times?), countering Newman’s hysterical nonsense thus: “…if we start running society because of paedophiles and in relation to what paedophiles think, I think we’re going down a very dangerous path.” OK, then. Balance restored. But alas, not for long…

For then came Amy Featherstone, mother of 13 year old child model Morgan, whose glossy ad pics as an 8 year old made up to look like a seductive teenage vamp sent shockwaves around the world. Mum was proud as punch, in full denial of any charges of parental irresponsibility with the insistence that “make-up washes off.” “It’s just a look,” she gushed, “just a photograph.” Are the images of child porn that pedos are downloading off the web “just photographs”? Not that I’m implying that Morgan’s 8 year old snaps were porn – I’m just extending Mum’s argument to show it up as the crude sophistry it is.

Could daughter’s recent investment in a house from the proceeds of her modelling have had anything to do with Mum’s firm affixing of the blinkers, I wonder?

And finally, we had Danielle Miller, who has a business running in-school workshops for tweenage girls, teaching them to be media savvy. Her view is that “kids should be kids”, and that the media bombardment from advertisers and magazines sexualising female tweenies for commercial ends is robbing them of their childhoods. Lamentable and true, even if she subsequently tickled the gagging reflex with her Disneyesque view that little girls “look sweet – they’ve got pigtails”.

Alas, there was worse to come. The segment concluded with Ms Miller leading a classroom of tweenie girls in a chorus of affirmations:

“I am a whole person.”
“I am more than just my body.”
“And I embrace you.”

Culminating in a group hug.

Lawd, I’ve asked, petitioned, pleaded – but you ain’t listening. Now I’m on me knees. Save us. SAVE US!